17 July: got started drawing! Got pages one and two done. I took time yesterday to polish the story beats, which has helped me understand what I've got to draw, when and where, but I'm up against it now for time.
18 July: got pages 3 and 4 done. I seem to be drawing one horizontal panel every two hours. Egad. I keep reminding myself that this is a rough draft, a rough draft and it's going to take time to make decisions. It's due for review on Wednesday and it needs to be more together than stick figures.
19 July: I think that I'm going to need 12 pages to tell this story. At least, for my rough draft, I'm going to need 12 pages. Then I can edit and squeeze. When Karl was teaching the class, he said that we MIGHT be able to do a 12-page story, if we could justify it. He's gone now and I'm not sure if David is even keen on the comic. What's he going to say about a 12-page story? Too early to worry about that as I do not even have 12 pages drawn out. Need to get to it.
This is a different animal than the animatic. There was a time limit to tell the story, which we were able to gauge based on script length. One page equals one minute of film time. And then, each frame is always the same size and orientation. So, you just go. With comics, the only consistent thing is the page. Each panel could be different, each page could have a totally different configuration.
I didn't even complete one page today and many of the panels are out of order. Soooo slow.
20 July: starting to consider the nature and necessity of stick figures. But while I internally debate this, I'm also scanning and increasing contrast levels on the pages I have done so I can print them out for submission Wednesday. Words also need to be added at some point...
21 July: two cover possibilities. I spent six hours thinking and 45 minutes doing.
22 July: New drawing tutor David has given us a two-week extension. Yay! And warned that if we don't have the full 8 pages and cover art proposals on that day, we fail the class.
24 July: Page 6 done. But it's really loose, and feels like I'm phoning it in.
26 July: Page 7 in progress. What would this story look like if it was only 8 pages long? I'm at page 7 and up to the Chrono Hub. I will take this over to a new blog post and play with the story beats so see if I can't make this an 8 pager again.
Page 1
Opening image and Set-up:
panel 1: cityscape
text: M3: The sunrise has been on a loop for the last hour
panel 2: eyes
text: M3: I've pushed myself too far, too hard, to get to The Machine alone
panel 3: dials and doohickeys
text: M3: And now I'm running on fumes
panel 4: shaking hands held up to the weak light
no text
panel 5: street level city
text: M3: But where one door shuts, a Time Window will open...
panel 6, side: Tempus Agent M3 staring out at the sunrise
Page 2
panel 1: cityscape
text: M3: The sunrise has been on a loop for the last hour
panel 2: eyes
text: M3: I've pushed myself too far, too hard, to get to The Machine alone
panel 3: dials and doohickeys
text: M3: And now I'm running on fumes
panel 4: shaking hands held up to the weak light
no text
panel 5: street level city
text: M3: But where one door shuts, a Time Window will open...
panel 6, side: Tempus Agent M3 staring out at the sunrise
 |
| This page sets up the skinny horizontal panel motif which gets busted apart very quickly in the following pages. I think I'd like to move the agent to the left side of the page, so she's the first thing you see. And I'm starting to question the wisdom of introducing such the main character from the back without quickly following up with a front shot. |
Catalyst and Debate:
Panel 1: dials and doohickey readings
text: M3: Someone else is nearby... A Geo-Ambulator! I can piggyback on their incursion energy and get to The Machine, complete my mission. Before they complete theirs.
panel 2: the body on the floor, in bits, 5:01 am
text: M3: Gads. No longer a man, but mincemeat.
panel 3: calculating the jump, the executor, and a whirring blade
text: M3: He hasn't been dead long. There's still a chance.
Off-screen voice: Emigre', you will come with me for processing
panel 4: the little jump back
text: M3: Stick it, Mac!
panel 5: rescue attempt #1 4:59am
text: M3: Young Man, I'm going to get you out of here. What's your name?
McM: ...AGAIN?! F. Scott McMurdo. Nearly finished... Back later?
M3: Nope, nope. Gotta go now.
OSV: Emigre', you will now be processed.
McM: At last! Meatball? aiyeeee!
M3: Oooo-gah! Be right back.
Page 3
panel 1 : rescue attempt #2 M3 is looking a little peaky. 4:58am
text: M3: Young Man, you've got to come with me NOW.
McMurdo: Oh! Hello again; I'm F. Scott McMurdo. Again.
Panel 2: a shadow, electrified pincers, and McMurdo lassoed. M3 jumps again.
OSV: Emigre', you have been granted special entry to the Free United Zone: Europa. You will now be processed.
McM: (to M3) Can you come back later? Meatball?
McMurdo screams and M3 jumps again.
panel 6: rescue attempt #3 M3 can barely stand. She's redlining. 4:56am
text: M3: "Really, Young Man, you don't want to keep doing this."
F. Scott McMurdo dressed like Rick at the Cafe Americain' in "Casablanca". He has a cigarette dangling from his lips.
M3 collapses into a chair next to him, now dressed like a siren from a film noir.
Page 4
Debate cont'd. and Act Two Plot Point
panel 1: A bright light is trained on him as a shadowy figure sorts through papers on a desk. )
text box: (McMurdo film noir voice over:) She was a dame from Another Time. Curves like a clock and built to wind me up. I had to play this like Humphrey... (or: Was she here to stop me from making it to FUZE? Or was she going to take me all the way...)
McM: Can I get a light?
Ike: FUZE health and safety regulations state...
McM. Yeah, yeah. I've got it.
Panel 1: dials and doohickey readings
text: M3: Someone else is nearby... A Geo-Ambulator! I can piggyback on their incursion energy and get to The Machine, complete my mission. Before they complete theirs.
panel 2: the body on the floor, in bits, 5:01 am
text: M3: Gads. No longer a man, but mincemeat.
panel 3: calculating the jump, the executor, and a whirring blade
text: M3: He hasn't been dead long. There's still a chance.
Off-screen voice: Emigre', you will come with me for processing
panel 4: the little jump back
text: M3: Stick it, Mac!
panel 5: rescue attempt #1 4:59am
text: M3: Young Man, I'm going to get you out of here. What's your name?
McM: ...AGAIN?! F. Scott McMurdo. Nearly finished... Back later?
M3: Nope, nope. Gotta go now.
OSV: Emigre', you will now be processed.
McM: At last! Meatball? aiyeeee!
M3: Oooo-gah! Be right back.
 |
| I like throwing in panels that are shaped like bits of the story that I want to emphasize. At the top, the rounded panels are supposed to reference the dials and medals that hold her Time circuits. They need more work to make that clear. McMurdo's body is in too small a panel, which will be fixed in Photoshop. |
panel 1 : rescue attempt #2 M3 is looking a little peaky. 4:58am
text: M3: Young Man, you've got to come with me NOW.
McMurdo: Oh! Hello again; I'm F. Scott McMurdo. Again.
Panel 2: a shadow, electrified pincers, and McMurdo lassoed. M3 jumps again.
OSV: Emigre', you have been granted special entry to the Free United Zone: Europa. You will now be processed.
McM: (to M3) Can you come back later? Meatball?
McMurdo screams and M3 jumps again.
panel 6: rescue attempt #3 M3 can barely stand. She's redlining. 4:56am
text: M3: "Really, Young Man, you don't want to keep doing this."
F. Scott McMurdo dressed like Rick at the Cafe Americain' in "Casablanca". He has a cigarette dangling from his lips.
M3 collapses into a chair next to him, now dressed like a siren from a film noir.
 |
| The panels got BIG on this page. Because I've got a limited number of pages to work with, I will squeeze these down in photoshop and re-arrange. I like the composition and layout. |
Debate cont'd. and Act Two Plot Point
panel 1: A bright light is trained on him as a shadowy figure sorts through papers on a desk. )
text box: (McMurdo film noir voice over:) She was a dame from Another Time. Curves like a clock and built to wind me up. I had to play this like Humphrey... (or: Was she here to stop me from making it to FUZE? Or was she going to take me all the way...)
McM: Can I get a light?
Ike: FUZE health and safety regulations state...
McM. Yeah, yeah. I've got it.
panel 2: M3 and McMurdo chat, close up and M3's lips with IKE in the background
text:
McM: Hey, I'm F. Scott McMurdo. Ike here promised me a meatball while I wait. You want one?"
McM: Hey, I'm F. Scott McMurdo. Ike here promised me a meatball while I wait. You want one?"
M3: "You don't want that meatball, McMurdo."
panel 3: More sexy noir stuff with M3 and McMurdo
McM: "Sure I do. The meatballs are so big here, sometimes you find a bell in them."
M3: "Bossy's dead, McMurdo. But you don't have to be, if you come with me.
McMurdo: "Can't, Doll. I'm being processed for entry to the Free United Zone: Europa, right now. Can you come back later?"
M3: "You're always asking me to come back, and every time I do, you're dead. Let's just skip to the part where you come with me."
panel 4: M3 smacks McMurdo in the face, sending the cigarette flying. He rubs his nose painfully.
text: M3: But first.... we have to break the delusion!
McMurdo: Ow! Gah! what.... what...
panel 5: mcMurdo opens his eyes and looks around. The scene changes from noir to industrial dystopic zone.
text: McMurdo: what? where am I?
M3: Meatball Processing.
text: M3: But first.... we have to break the delusion!
McMurdo: Ow! Gah! what.... what...
panel 5: mcMurdo opens his eyes and looks around. The scene changes from noir to industrial dystopic zone.
text: McMurdo: what? where am I?
M3: Meatball Processing.
 |
| black and white to suit McMurdo's Noir Delusion |
Act Two Plot Point contd. and B Story
Panel 1: McMurdo’s argument with a shaking M3 is interrupted by IKE the automated sentry that did, and still might, execute him. M3 drags a befuddled McMurdo out of the room.
text: McMurdo: Why'd you do that?!
M3: That wasn't a cigarette. It was a pacifying agent meant to keep you tranquil while they turned you into meatballs, McMurdo.
McMurdo: I'm not getting my meatball?!
Panel 2: M3 and McMurdo run through and abandoned corridor, IKES in pursuit
text: Emigre's, you will report for processing!
Panel 3: They find themselves on the roof of one of the city's skyscrapers.
text: McMurdo: Why'd you do that?!
M3: That wasn't a cigarette. It was a pacifying agent meant to keep you tranquil while they turned you into meatballs, McMurdo.
McMurdo: I'm not getting my meatball?!
Panel 2: M3 and McMurdo run through and abandoned corridor, IKES in pursuit
text: Emigre's, you will report for processing!
Panel 3: They find themselves on the roof of one of the city's skyscrapers.
text: McMurdo: There's nowhere to go.
M3: There is, there is. But you won't like it. The systems that keep me alive are breaking down. I'm running out of time.
M3: There is, there is. But you won't like it. The systems that keep me alive are breaking down. I'm running out of time.
panel 4: M3 is aging before his eyes.
text: I need you to help me restart my systems. I'll die if I can't restart my systems.
panel 5: the Time Window can be seen stories below out in the open air. An ancient M3 collapses. Drop me in, she begs McMurdo. Ike and his cohorts burst out onto the roof. McMurdo picks her up and jumps in with her. M3 disintegrates as she hits the Window.
Page 6
Fun and Games
text: I need you to help me restart my systems. I'll die if I can't restart my systems.
panel 5: the Time Window can be seen stories below out in the open air. An ancient M3 collapses. Drop me in, she begs McMurdo. Ike and his cohorts burst out onto the roof. McMurdo picks her up and jumps in with her. M3 disintegrates as she hits the Window.
 |
| The panels are out of sequence. I think after 3 days or struggling to get these out, I was just tired. I'll finish the page and then swap the offending panels around in Photoshop. |
Fun and Games
panel 4: McMurdo wakes up in a pile of dust. Section Chief William S. Pearce busily vacuums him off and explains why FUZE is empty, The Machine, the retrovirus and what M3 needs to do.
panel 5: M3 is reconstituted to McMurdo's relief and discomfort. Her automaton systems change her from a 120 year old woman back to the 37 year old he met hours before.
panel
panel 5: M3 is reconstituted to McMurdo's relief and discomfort. Her automaton systems change her from a 120 year old woman back to the 37 year old he met hours before.
panel
the old timelines where he died have been "cauterized". Multiple strings? tied together to get past weird bits? cat playing with strings until they snarl up?
Midpoint and Bad Guys Close In:
Then treks with him through her homeland towards the North Pole. Macintyre and McMurdo follow the Aurora borealis (which looks at times like a DNA strand) North to the pole where The Machine is pumping out the retrovirus into the atmosphere. : M3 and McMurdo try to sneak up on The Machine’s camp but are blocked by a polar bear, an animal that McMurdo considers to mythical, but in the past that they’re operating in is very much alive. “No, it can’t be! You’re… DEAD!”
polar bear standing enraged over Agent M3 and McMurdo.
Then treks with him through her homeland towards the North Pole. Macintyre and McMurdo follow the Aurora borealis (which looks at times like a DNA strand) North to the pole where The Machine is pumping out the retrovirus into the atmosphere. : M3 and McMurdo try to sneak up on The Machine’s camp but are blocked by a polar bear, an animal that McMurdo considers to mythical, but in the past that they’re operating in is very much alive. “No, it can’t be! You’re… DEAD!”
polar bear standing enraged over Agent M3 and McMurdo.
Men appear from nowhere. They have been sent by The Machine to bring the agents in. They turn their rifles on the polar bear. McMurdo screams “No!” and jumps in front of the bear. He explains that he couldn’t let an animal that he had only read about in books, like a unicorn, die. Gut shot, he collapses into a snowdrift. The polar bear falls dead nearby.
All is Lost and Dark Night of the Soul:
Their would-be saviours are men hired by The Machine. They truss M3 up and drag her off. Amelia Earhart is The Machine. A rogue agent from The Agency, she resents their leaving her on that island in the Pacific to be “discovered by history”. Earhart was lost trying to Geo-ambulate without a Tempus agent. Her attempt to circumnavigate the globe was a dry run for spreading the retrovirus by means of “crop dusting”. Earhart has reprogrammed her nanites to be retroviruses. Her followers will kill her and burn her body in an erupting volcano, releasing the ashes into the atmosphere, infecting the population.
text:
M3: but you'll die!
Machine: and I'll be reborn, again and a million times, again!
Their would-be saviours are men hired by The Machine. They truss M3 up and drag her off. Amelia Earhart is The Machine. A rogue agent from The Agency, she resents their leaving her on that island in the Pacific to be “discovered by history”. Earhart was lost trying to Geo-ambulate without a Tempus agent. Her attempt to circumnavigate the globe was a dry run for spreading the retrovirus by means of “crop dusting”. Earhart has reprogrammed her nanites to be retroviruses. Her followers will kill her and burn her body in an erupting volcano, releasing the ashes into the atmosphere, infecting the population.
text:
M3: but you'll die!
Machine: and I'll be reborn, again and a million times, again!
M3 and Amelia Earhart trade barbs and argue over independence as the dirty bomb ticks down to release. They had previously been Time and Space agents together and M3 had bailed when she realised what Earhart was up to.
Page 7
Act Three Plot Point: McMurdo is alive! (And 20 years older.) And so is the polar bear. And they’re pissed! The shots at the Chronohub have done their work: the freezing temperatures put McMurdo into a suspended status until the automaton’s could fix him up. He and the bear collapsed in a heap and the automatons in the blood on the ground went searching for the nearest biological signature, which in many cases, was the polar bear.
Page 8
Finale: Polar bear and McMurdo save M3. The Machine falls into a crevasse on an ice cap.
Final Image: M3 looks out at the same futuristic cityscape from the opening. Instead of the ice cold disintegrating buildings of the beginning, she sees a metropolis teeming with life. The rays of the sunrise of 2099 fall across her and McMurdo’s faces.
(c)Traci Meek, 2015 (already putting business and legal class into practice!)
(c)Traci Meek, 2015 (already putting business and legal class into practice!)
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